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  • Who said: Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!
  • Who said: Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
  • Who said: To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
  • Who said: Women are made to be Loved, not understood.
  • Who said: A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
  • Who said: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
  • Who said: Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
  • Who said: The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.
  • Who said: We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.
  • Who said: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
  • Who said: That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
  • Who said: Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
  • Who said: Whether women are better than men I cannot say - but I can say they are certainly no worse.
  • Who said: If you’re too open-minded; your brains may fall out.
  • Who said: A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
  • Who said: If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
  • Who said: If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  • Who said: There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
  • Who said: What's another word for Thesaurus?
  • Who said: You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
  • Who said: I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not quite sure.
  • Who said: Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
  • Who said: You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
  • Who said: A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep.
  • Who said: Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

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